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So after looking at the 1973 December issue of Playboy, and a few days later seeing a movie with a GREAT burlesque scene, I am totally convinced that we need to rewind our porn/naughty pics and go back to classics.
Take this playboy cover – it is so hot! But it shows nothing!!!
Lets go back to relying on our imaginations a little more. There is no mystery in watching two hairless women go to town on each other… I mean sure its a turn on the first time you see it but really? Come on! Lets show our natural bodies, flaws and all, and get our imagination’s involved!!!!
Sometimes it feels as if I started as the seed of some beautiful rare flowering plant that needed to be cared for in a very specific way in order to thrive, but someone planted me in some swirling filthy nutrient poor bog of madness with partial sunlight and very low temperatures.
Realizing that my “dysfunction” is not something I caused (no matter how many times my family told me I did) but from the craziness surrounding me has been the biggest relief of my life. Even with that transforming realization, however, the patterns I grew with are part of me now and difficult to change. I will change them no matter how long it takes me and I have made a tremendous amount of progress since my 30th birthday.
Figuring out what “normal” means has plagued me forever. And now as I find myself 13 years into parenthood I wonder what normal will mean to him when he is my age. I am a good mom. I have raised him with more love and care than I have ever been shown in my life. He has been so amazingly healing to me. Noone tells you before you give birth that the child growing within you will heal you in so many ways.
Hopefully when he is 34 he will blog about being grown in love and being cherished.
fumbling towards myself 
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