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Remember the secrets blog I discovered? (its still on here) Well I visited it today and found an interesting one…


This triggered a memory. When I was hitting puberty I was in a weird place for other reasons. My Mom was beginning her mental decline and being the only other human standing next to her I felt the reprocussions (she didn’t intend this and I love her). But at that age no-one needs to feel more awkward.

My siblings were all living in Dallas and so my sister wasn’t around for me to “compare” my body to.

Vagina’s are strange alien looking things to begin with. The internet was merely a gleam in Al Gore’s mind so I had no resources. But I felt like there was something wrong with me all the time anyway so how did I know my privates were totally normal?

And then Elizabeth Y. changed into her bathing suit in front of me.

Only one of her lips must have hung down to her knee. OK that is probably my mind exagerating it. But hers was weird. Really weird. And I have always thought mine was normal since that moment!

She was probably having a weird teen growth thing happen but let me just say. It was the best thing ever! I WAS NORMAL!


step 1. While wearing pajamas put Itunes on to your teen’s favorite playlist.
step 2. Inform said teen that you have something to show them and they can not leave the room or they get grounded.
step 3. Blast the playlist and establish eye contact with teen.
step 4. While maintaining eye contact and standing only a foot away from them, bust out with your best 80’s dance moves.

Do not smile.
Be very serious.

step 5. Inform the teenager (who will now be screaming and possbily crying in fear) that you think he should try your ubercool moves.

Smelling salts are good to have on hand.

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