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The movers are here.

I am still shocked at what was under my couch…
17 rawhides buried by my creatures.
2 pairs of slippers.
a broken wine glass????
7 tennis balls (creatures again)
dust
dust
dirt
bottle of lotion.
panties.
magazine (nothing good Keith)
my diary. hehe.

One of the movers smells like a rotten cheeseburger and its making me nauseous.

I tossed about 5,000 things into my bedroom this morning thinking I would throw stuff out and go through things… Not sure the door will open.

Where did all this crap come from?

3 glasses of cheap pink sweet wine into my night.

11 boxes packed.

8 bags of trashed hauled to the curb.

Two sets of mattresses in the hallway ready to be taken to the truck.

I am almost 35. Why am I dragging around so much crap? Seriously. We just moved a half of a year ago and I have boxes that are unopened and nothing really missing from my daily trek through life.

My Mother’s condition worsens.

My financial condition worsens.

My relationship remains stable and loving but in a holding pattern…

Its 9 freakin thirty and the movers will be here in 11.5 hours.

I am moving back from the burbs where I can escape my neighbors and friends at all times. I will be forced to see them all on a freakin daily basis. The grocery store. The dogpark. The f*cking coffee house.

I will be doing my duty as a child. I will be saving for a house and more freedom. I will be going to school.

Did I mention that I have decided to become a Veterinarian? Thats right. The school that is more difficult to get into than medical school. No stress. Really.

Found a stash of tomato boxes left over from the farmers market. Good for picture frames and DVD’s.

I won’t be able to escape my friends.

My friends will be closer.

My f*cking shrink will be 5 blocks away.

My dogs will love going for runs over the bridge and around the monuments. They will miss the yard but I think they would rather be with me while I trudge through a workout than in a yard alone while I cook dinner.

I will be closer to my Grandparents and the baby.

I won’t be able to escape my Grandparents and the baby.

I should probably shut up and finish packing.

I just tossed every magazine I own, all clothing I don’t love and books I will never read.
Thank you Oprah.

I can’t help myself. The more I think about old school beauty and the appreciation of the female form in its natural state, the more I think it needs a comeback… Look at Marilyn Monroe in her centerfold shot in 1962 monroe_playboy.jpg

Definately all natural and curvy. And HOT AS HELL! She is still considered one of the most beautiful and sensual women that ever lived and she would be considered a plus size model today!

This one is my FAVORITE with just a hint of nipple… a hint and a tease go a LONG way with flirtation.

98760_marilyn-monroe-playboy19_123_480lo_1.jpg

Here is another shot I love – a 1962 playmate of the month centerfold..

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And I love this cover shot from June 1962…

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Playmate Bunny Laura Misch
Playboy has an enticing and long history. There was a 25 year period 1960-1985 when playboy owned and operated Playboy clubs, 25 clubs in total, all over the world. The “Bunnies” served coctails, flirted with patrons, slipped tips into their cleavage and changed history a little bit for women then.hh5.jpg
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The original club was in Chicago, Hef’s hometown. The original Bunny’s name was Ilsa Taurins who at the time was dating Hef’s promotions manager. When Ilsa and her mother sewed the costume, satin with a tail and ear’s headband… little did they know what a sex symbol they had just thrown together!a3.jpg

So here are just a few – since you have been enjoying them so much! I don’t have all of their names but provided the ones I have..
Bunny Angie Chester - Bunny of the Year 1974Playmate Bunny Candy (Candace Collins)Bunny Susanpic57.jpghh2.jpgPlaymate Bunny Helena AntonaccioJanis Schmitt

So after looking at the 1973 December issue of Playboy, and a few days later seeing a movie with a GREAT burlesque scene, I am totally convinced that we need to rewind our porn/naughty pics and go back to classics.

Take this playboy cover – it is so hot! But it shows nothing!!!
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Lets go back to relying on our imaginations a little more. There is no mystery in watching two hairless women go to town on each other… I mean sure its a turn on the first time you see it but really? Come on! Lets show our natural bodies, flaws and all, and get our imagination’s involved!!!!

So it was M’s birthday a few weeks ago and I still haven’t mailed his present. Oh well.

A few months ago I stopped in one of those side of the road XXX Emporiums that have marvelous things in them and spotted an issue of Playboy published the month before he was born. Real Breasts, lots of bush. BIG BUSH. Apparently waxing and razors were post-70’s inventions.

I love it! I think real boobs are SO much more intriguing. (I reserve the right to change my mind when mine are in need of some work). I like seeing natural women who aren’t botox’d and lipo’d to death. Curves are sexy – even if they dont look like everyone elses!

And check out the cover!!! I dont know – I just really enjoyed the issue!2339a.jpg

This post needs no words.
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FIrst I have to say that as a dogwalker and animal hospital employee I take exception to the idea.

Someone found me by googling this yesterday…..

human intercourse w/canines

When did sex with other humans get old? I mean COME ON!!!! And how the fuck did they find ME with this google search? ACK!

If you find yourself ACTUALLY getting turned on and masturbating to the idea of fucking an animal…. REPORT TO THE NEAREST PSYCH WARD STAT!!!!!!!!!!

I was born into the biggest family you can imagine. No – I don’t have 17 siblings and my parents didn’t either. But if you go back to my grandparent’s generation (the surviving 2 are almost 95 yrs old) there were 5-6 kids in each of our local families and they were very close and still spend as much time together as possible.

4-5 generations later… Last night my “baby” cousin Lydia (who is a married Doctor and speaks Japanese) stopped for the night on her way home from a quick trip to Pennsylvania. As we munched our burgers and drank beer – laughed and shared pictures, it struck me that each of them are home to me. And there are HUNDREDS of them.

The (still) annual descent on our little beach town in NC was an amazing thing for me growing up. It was the most stability I could ever imagine. I knew without a doubt, that every August, come hell, highwater or hurricane (we have experienced all), I would be enveloped for a week or two by my enormous family. My mother would relax into the southern atmosphere (and libations) and leave me the fuck alone for a while. My cousins and Aunts and Uncles always seemed to understand that I came from a home that was less than perfect and they would spend the full extent of our trip loving me and building me up. Some years it honestly was enough to carry me through the next twelve months. My Uncles (who have all passed away now) Vance, Marcus, Jack, Bill and Guy(the most recent loss and biggest sting tonight) would remind me how strong I was. It was as if they just sensed what I needed by some strange psychic genetic thing. My aunts (most are still here) taught me all the southern belle things my mother DETESTED about her heritage. I laughed at most of it but to this day still embrace a lot of it!

When I got older, the time I spent with my various branches of said family served as my “refresh” button. I processed things by talking about what happened and hearing their opinions. Events in my life seem to attain status and meaning in my life by being known to my family. Heartbreak, medical things (small and big), my mother’s deterioration… When my Lydia left this morning I just took a deep breath, processed the past few months and moved forward with strength in my heart.

They are mostly crazy, very drunk, so hysterical it hurts, loving, accepting, judgemental and strong. They marry and procreate and divorce and die. They leave big marks on this world or are hardly heard. The span every inch of the states and parts of the world beyond. But they are ALL mine and I am all theirs. I can not imagine a world without any single one of them. We fight, we forgive, we welcome babies and say goodbye at funerals but mostly we stand fiercely together no matter how far apart we are and make sure we are all ok. Its nice to realize that I no longer need to be at the beach to process and move forward with my life. I can achieve the same thing in one day with one of them. Any of them.

This morning my cousin Jane (Lydia’s sister) called and we had a long conversation about her boyfriend. She and I haven’t spoken in almost 8 months but as always it seemed as if we have never been apart. I could tell she was processing. I provided her with a touchstone and a loving voice. We may not speak again for a while, but we both know we could and come hell or highwater we will spend a week or two together in August.

The fact that my number one posting is “orgasm” and every day STILL I am getting more and more traffic from the wordpress tag “orgasm” means I think I should be writing a blog about them.

Anyone have any good ideas on what to write about them? Got any questions I could research?

Do you remember having your first? I do. I had figured out how to masturbate with a hand held shower head in 5th grade. God I love shower heads.

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