Dear vibrator,

As long as I keep you on a steady diet of duracell’s you are always so good to me.

You never stand me up.
You never make me mad.
You are there for me day or night.
You dont care if I have kids or not.
You dont mind cellulite. (not that I have any… hehe).
You ALWAYS get me off.
You know how to find my g-spot and your little rabbit knows just what to do with my clit. Such a lovely combination. A combo more men should learn.
If I don’t pay for anything or call for a month you dont care.
Sometimes we even have threesomes and you dont get jealous of my boyfriend (former boyfriend… whatever).
If I decide to replace you, there is no whining or complaining.

If only you could get a job and help with the bills.

Love forever,

Blueseaglass

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